Simply being

This week's lesson from the herd is about being versus doing.  Can I just "be" with them, without needing to "do" something with them?  And, when I do something with them, how can it be done with understanding and communication?

On Monday, Susie came up to the barn with a swollen, red, and itchy right eye.  She's always prone to this in the spring, when the flies and pollen first appear.  She brought this to my attention by rubbing her face on her leg, and then letting me gently rub her eye. Flushing her eye with saline always helps, but it is not her favorite thing. Here is our conversation:

I come into her stall with halter & lead: Would you let me put this on, so I can take care of your eye?

She takes a look, and turns her butt to me, walks out of her stall and into Sophie's: No thanks, I don't think so.

I stay in her stall and call her quietly: Come on, sweetie, I know your eye feels bad.

She comes back in her stall and stands calmly for me to put her halter on: OK, I guess I will.

Then, it is: No no no no I hate the feeling of you spraying something on my face, as she pull her head away. This alternates wtih: Oh I guess that does feel better, as she lowers her face and lets me give her nose kisses.

In addition to nose kisses, she gets lots of What a good girl, what a brave girl, I'm sorry your eye hurts.

For the first time, I am so aware that by haltering her, I am restraining her, I am "forcing" her to let me do something to her. It was the right and necessary thing, but for the first time, I was aware of how unnatural it was to tie something on her head and insist on doing something "my way." 

On Wednesday, her eye was still itchy and draining.  I took a different approach, and soaked some gauze squares with saline. Leaving her loose in the barn, I told her I wanted to hold the cool gauze against her eye. She was unsure, and needed to leave me several times, but I kept a hand on her back while she moved, until she settled and gave me permission.  I kept telling her it would feel good, it would be fine.  Once she let me hold the gauze over her eye, and felt the coolness, she gave a big sigh, and laid her head against me. I was doing something for her, and she was aware and appreciative. No restraints!

Same thing the next day, still unsure to begin with, but quickly settled.

Meanwhile, all week long I've gone to the horses with no agenda, nothing needing to be done, just feed them, love them, give scratches. No drama. It is lovely.

I am a slow learner, LOL.  Came home Thursday night and was surfing around on various horse sites, and found that CR is offering a WHR Course in a Box.  Starts April 18, plenty of time for me to sign up, cool! I quickly contact the friend who has borrowed my WHR videos and ask to get them back, ASAP, so I can get ready for the class. I am excited, something to "do" that is along this new path I am trying to walk.

I get up on Friday morning, and head to the barn to put on fly masks (a sure sign of spring in Indiana!). The herd is out in the dry lot. Susie is lying peacefully in front of her stall, Sophie is grazing, and Walter is taking a sunbath while he naps. I let myself in through the gate, and the peace and contentment is palpable. They know I don't "want" anything; they know I am not here to "do" something. Susie is quite happy to have her fly mask put on, without needing to get up. She is happy to have kisses, and rubs, and hear how lovely she is. Sophia comes walking over to me, to have her mask put on--the first time she has offered to do that. She is obviously happy and calm.  When I offer a hand to Walter, he too comes over to be greeting, and asks for ear rubs.

The light bulb finally comes on.

No, I won't be signing up for the WHR class. It will be wonderful, and I'm sure I would enjoy it, but this year I am here to learn from the herd. This year, I want to "be" with my horses. The sweet energy in the dry lot yesterday showed just how much they can sense this change. How relieved they all are to simply be accepted as themselves, where they are today, to have a human friend who has no goals, no need to do anything more than accept them and learn from them.

The photos are from yesterday, of Sophia and Susie are in their new "Easter bonnets" aka Cashel Crusader fly masks.  This year Cashel is supporting breast cancer research by offering pink masks, which even have a little pink ribbon on the side. Both mares think they look quite adorable in their new hats.