"We love Julie!"

Julie is our farrier. To say that we love Julie is an understatment.  When Julie's mini-Cooper pulls into the driveway, the horses RUN TO THE BARN to see her. In addition to being a gifted barefoot trim farrier, she is an animal communicator, and she has a wicked good sense of humor. My horses have been "talking" to me through her for several months now. Her visit last Wednesday provided a classic example. Earlier in the day, our equally kind vet, Dr. Andrea Sinnamon, had come for the annual farm visit. Walter and Sophia really have no problem with the vet visit, shots and all, but Susie is another story.

Here is the conversation:

Me: I don't think Susie likes the vet at ALL. She gets more tense than anyone else.

Julie: She hates being poked. That is what the vet does; that is how she describes getting shots.

Me: I know, I try to distract her, rub her....

Julie: She doesn't care, she hates it.

Me: Maybe you can communicate to her that it is for her own good?

Julie: Nope, she doesn't care.

Me: Or, at least it is only once a year...

Julie: No difference, she hates it.

Me: Well, at least we didn't do a Coggins this year, so that was one less stick.

Julie (laughing out loud): She doesn't care, still hates it!

Now this is one hundred per cent Susie's personality. She is such a good girl, so well "trained" you can MAKE her do almost anything you want. But her opinions are pretty black and white. She had her 22nd birthday last week, and I would guess for the first 20 years of her life, no one asked her opinion about anything, and every attempt to communicate an opinion resulted in some human saying, "Quit that!" or "Stand still!" Don't paw, don't sniff, don't rub, don't MOVE. So, she didn't. She just stood and went along with whatever was asked (demanded) of her. She became an expert at getting along.

It has been one of the joys of my life to share the past three years with her, and watch her blossom in a setting where she was never smacked down for simply being herself. She has been allowed to explore, to inspect, to snuffle and rub and paw. Such a total delight. Which brings me to where we are today, to why I am taking a break from riding/training/doing.

Putting it simply, I want to see what we have as a relationship, when I stop making something happen. And, see if in the space and silence of simply being I can discover a direction that is equally satisfying for us both. God knows, we have circled and yo-yo'd and friendly-ed until the cows come home, and there is no way to pretend that we are "progressing" together in those kind of games (drills). Susie has always and forever disliked being saddled/cinched, and while cookies have helped, it is still obviously not HER idea. She will still walk away given the chance.

I know that she loves me.  I know that she will tolerate a LOT for me. This summer is going to be our time to discover what makes life as good for her as it is for me, what motivates her and interests her, once no one is insisting upon anything. It may be that cookies and carrots will remain the delight of her life, and I want to honor that. It is what it is.

I'm not signing on to anything (or anyone) right now. Just listening to myself and my horses. We will be keeping our rope halters, thank you very much, which I know they prefer.  We will keep the door open to riding. We will not be using bits again, ever. Apart from those few things, everything is up for grabs. How delightful to live with uncertainty, apart from love!

Walter had a very special day with Julie. He-who-hates-halters-of-all-kinds was offered the chance to be trimmed at liberty (he suggested this to me when Julie arrived, and she agreed to give it a go). He stood rock solid still, like a little Zen master, even when he had to put weight on his right hind leg which, as he said, "is not really meant to be weight-bearing" due to an old deformity. Such a brave little man. Such a very good donkey.

I'll close with this lovely photo of spring flowers, given to me this week as a Thank You from a coworker. TGISpring!